


Deep Crimson

by AngelsFallFirst



Category: Nightwish
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:33:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsFallFirst/pseuds/AngelsFallFirst
Summary: But there was one thing that disturbed Tuomas to no end: also the second victim looked like Tarja. Deep black hair. An angular face. Green eyes.Tuomas looked at his partner in worry. Could she be the next victim?---Crime-Fanfic. I absolutely adore the US series Monk and kinda got inspired by it. If you know it, don't worry. My Detective doesn't have OCD. ... just read and enjoy ;)





	1. Chapter 1

The woman was running. She was running for her life, even though she knew she had no chance anymore. The shore was right ahead of her.  
She was panting as she came to stand in front of the water. Should she jump? It would kill her, the cold water would freeze her to death. Maybe her limbs would freeze and she'd drown ...  
She turned around, the prey, looking at her predator.  
"Don't," she whispered in a foreign language. "Please, don't kill me."  
The predator grinned at her and the woman chose within a second - killed by him or killed by the cold water?  
She jumped.   
But sadly she had underestimated him, and faster than she had wanted, he had pulled her out of the cold water and tied her up on a pole.  
"Please ..." the prey whimpered again and the man pulled the ropes tighter.  
"Good night," he said in her language, a gentle smile on his face. The woman whimpered as the man pressed a little kiss on her lips, turned around and left.  
And the woman screamed for help, she screamed and screamed until she felt too weak to scream. And she eventually fell asleep, fell into a deep, never ending sleep ...

***

"So what would you say about holidays?" Detective Tuomas Holopainen asked his partner slash assistant Tarja Turunen. Tarja called herself his partner, Tuomas called her his assistant. They constantly fought over that.  
"Depends on where," Tarja replied. "We've been to Spain. Too hot for you. We've been to Lapland. Too cold for you. We've walked around in Helsinki - perfect for you."  
Tuomas rolled his eyes. "I thought about something in the south of Finland but not too much. Like Denmark. Or the Netherlands!"  
"I'll think of that," Tarja said and pretended to note it down.  
"I know you don't note my suggestions," Tuomas said sternly. He knew Tarja too well.  
"Oh, damn," Tarja chuckled. "How did you know, are you a decective?"  
"I used to be one," Tuomas replied dryly.  
Tarja wanted to answer something witty, as her cell phone rang. "The captain ..." she murmured and picked up. "Captain?"  
Tuomas raised his head. What could the police captain want?  
He followed Tarja with his eyes as she started walking up and down the room. "Yeah ... I saw it in the news. Horrible. ... what? Of course ..." Tarja looked at Tuomas. "Do we have time for a mission?" Tuomas nodded. "Yes, we do, Captain Hietala. We'll be there in a few minutes." And Tarja hung up. "Move your ass, boss," she chuckled and pulled Tuomas out of his chair. "The captain's waiting."

Captain Hietala greeted them. He was holding a cigarette in his one and a cup of coffee in his other hand, as always, while lieutenant Vuorinen explained what the matter was.  
"White woman, age 26," he said, "found tied against a pole. Frozen to death."  
"What do we know about her?" Tuomas asked.  
"Not much," Vuorinen said. "We haven't found a passport yet. We are currently checking the hotels."  
"What makes you think she's not from here?" Tarja asked and Vuorinen told them to come with them. The body was still untouched but they'd bring her away soon. Vuorinen pointed at her ankle.  
"Russian," he said. It was a tattoo, the letters were Russian indeed.  
"That doesn't explain it," Tuomas said.  
"But it's worth a try. We'll call you."  
Tuomas looked up, he hadn't looked at the poor woman before.  
But now he regretted that he hadn't don't that earlier.  
"Tarja!" he said and his partner rushed to him.  
"Yes, boss?"  
"Look at her. She looks familiar."  
Tarja looked at the victim. She was blonde and had strong cheekbones, an edgy jaw and well formed lips.  
"Not really," Tarja said. "She was pretty."  
Tuomas threw an annoyed look at the woman. "Don't you see it?? She could be your sister!"

Tarja took a sip of her coffee.  
She looked at the picture again. Yes, she had quite a chiselled face but besides that ... well, the lips looked similar. Tarja compared the photo with her last selfie. Maybe ... also the eyes ...  
"Tarja?"  
The former police woman almost dropped her coffee as Tuomas entered her office.   
"My god, are you nuts? You can't just scare me like that."  
"Sorry." Tuomas had to smile. She was the most jumpy person he knew. "Emppu just called. They found a passport."  
"Oh my god, where?!" Tarja gasped and Tuomas couldn't hide a grin.  
"In the Crowne Plaza hotel."  
"So she was Russian?" Tarja asked, disappointed that Vuorinen and Hietala had been right. Even though she liked those two, there was always a little rivalry between the police captain and his lieutenant and the detective and his assistant.  
Tarja once had been in Marco Hietala's investigation team, before Marco had become the captain and before Tarja had gotten pregnant. Back then Tuomas had been the captain and Marco the lieutenant. Tarja remembered all too well how happy she had been, as she had entered the office of captain Holopainen. 

With a smile on her lips, she had sat down.  
"So, what did you want to say?"  
"Well - I'm pregnant," Tarja said, her cheeks flushed.  
"Really!? Wow!" Tuomas had congratulated her and promised to decrease her investigations, so she didn't have to run a lot. But then everything had changed.

"She wasn't Russian," a grin tugged on his lips, "Estonian. Viktoria Raas, twenty-eight years old. She stayed in Helsinki for a private reason. Vuorinen called the parents, they had no idea where their daughter was. They had suspected that she had a boyfriend. And really, Tarja. They found a ring in her room, not necessarily an engagement ring but they still want to ask for our advice."  
"So let's look at the hotel room?" Tarja asked and Tuomas grinned again.   
"That's my Tarja," he announced and then they took their car to the Crowne Plaza hotel. 

Tarja and Tuomas had a car together. It belonged their company, if you could call it that way.  
Two years after they had founded their detective office, they had decided that they couldn't drive with taxi all the time. So they had bought a car, a normal one, nothing big or fancy. They were detectives, no agents.  
And on this kind of dark day in October they drove to the Crowne Plaza in the centrum. And Tarja's face fell as she recognised exactly the known hotel ...  
Tuomas noticed that Tarja hadn't said a single word after his stupid joke. So while they rode the elevator to the fourth floor, Tuomas put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder jokingly. "Did I offend you? I was just kidding, you know my humour."  
"What? No, I mean the joke was typical Tuomas." Tarja rolled her eyes. "It's about that hotel. Janne and I had our first time here."  
Bing.  
The elevator went open and Tarja went out. Tuomas looked after her.  
He hadn't thought about Janne for a while now ...

He had left Tarja after she had told him about her pregnancy. Tuomas remembered the day all too well, as Tarja had sat in his office and cried her eyes out. He had never been all to keen on her boyfriend and her pregnancy had made him unhappy - what if she and Janne would marry now? They would be a happy family, Tarja wouldn't work as much as before and Tuomas would miss her terribly. And on Christmas parties she would be there with her wonderful family, while Tuomas would be single ... or not. Either way he'd stare at Tarja like a creep. Just because he loved to look at her.  
But then Janne had ended their relationship and Tuomas had been both happy and furious. And then he had started to look after Tarja, as if he was the father of this baby.  
He had brought Tarja to the hospital on the first of June. And in the night of second June, she had given birth to a beautiful baby girl.  
Noora Sisko Turunen was now six and a half years old. She had never met her real father but that didn't matter to the girl.  
She had Tuomas.

"Stop thinking about him," Tuomas calmed her. "It's been seven years."  
"Don't say that, it sounds as if we are old!" Tarja scolded. Tuomas sighed. Thirty-three wasn't that old yet and he was closer to forty than her.  
Together they entered the hotel room, where Vuorinen and Hietala had been investigating before. The Crime scene, do not cross-banner should prevent people from entering, it didn't prevent them from looking though.  
They had found some inconsistencies, such as the engagement ring. It had been way too big for a ring finger, Tarja had tried it. It had been too big for her thumb as well.  
Have a look at Viktoria's fingers, Tarja noted.  
"Hey, have you checked the bathroom?" A sudden idea had crossed her mind.  
"What for?" Tuomas asked from the other side of the room. Wordlessly she went to the bathroom and opened the bin. Of course she was wearing gloves as she took everything out, cotton pads, an empty shampoo bottle and sanitary towels - and as she had thought she found two condoms. Used ones, of course.  
"Okay, she definitely did have a male friend!" Tarja called. And seconds later Tuomas was at her side. He looked as if he wanted to kiss her, he always did when she found something that the captain hadn't found.  
"Now we only have to find that swine," Tuomas said and put the condoms into an evidence bag. Then he smiled at Tarja again.  
"Good job. No wonder that Marco almost hit the roof as you resigned."

Tarja had quit her job during her first year on mother's leave. Back then Tuomas already had opened his private detective office and offered Tarja a job. The payment hadn't been much better but the working times were. And she had known that she would be with Tuomas all the time. And even though they saw each other at work everyday, Tuomas sometimes went home with her too - due to three reasons:  
He couldn't cook and Tarja could, Tuomas liked little Noora and Noora liked him.  
Also that evening he went home with her.  
At four they picked the girl up from her day care.   
She hugged Tuomas longer than Tarja, she always did. Tarja had the feeling that the girl liked Tuomas more because he never scolded her. And he gave her sweets.  
"Don't give her chocolate all the time, that's not healthy!" Tarja said and slapped his shoulder as he told Noora to look inside his coat pocket while driving. But Tuomas only laughed and Noora fished a chocolate bar out of his coat.  
"You'll get that after dinner!" Tarja went on. "Have you done your homework?"  
"Maths," Noora replied. "I wanted to wait with English so Tuomas could help me."  
"Great, I love English," the man replied.  
"I know, you've told me! And I got my last homework back. I wrote a story and Ellinor liked it a lot!"  
Ellinor was Noora's teacher and normally she was pretty strict.  
"She did? What did you write about?"  
"About that story you told me a few days ago. That boy who got a little sister and is jealous so he wants to sell her."  
"You told her a story like that?!" Tarja asked shocked.  
But Tuomas only laughed. "Gosh, Tarja. I didn't make this story up, I read it to her from my e-book. It's from Astrid Lindgren!"  
Tarja crossed her arms. "Noora, you can't just copy an already existing story."  
"I didn't copy it. I told it the way I remember it."  
End of discussion. Tarja knew she had lost.  
Even though she sometimes felt left out by those two, she was happy. Because she wasn't alone ...

"I want to have a little sibling too," Noora said as Tuomas tucked her in.  
"I don't think your mother wants another child," Tuomas laughed.  
"Yes, I know," Noora sighed. "I've asked her."  
"You're crazy."  
"Yes. I know." The girl smashed her palms on her face and continued talking into her hands. "Can't you ask her? Say you want a baby."  
"I don't want a baby, I already have one." He pulled Noora's earlobe.   
"No! Tell mommy you want a baby with her!"  
"And your mommy will say yes? I doubt that. Now sleep." He pinched the girl's nose.  
She looked exactly like Tarja as a child. He had seen pictures.  
Tuomas couldn't help but wonder how their baby would look ... if they had one.  
Quickly he shook the thought off and returned to the living room - where Tarja had fallen asleep on the couch.  
He looked at her with a smile. Yes, he had loved her for a while now. But he had never told her. It was good as it was.


	2. Chapter 2

"Can I talk to you?"  
Her voice was quiet and as Tuomas looked up, he saw a devastated Tarja. Her eyes were red and swollen.  
"Of course!" Tuomas said and jumped up. He had never seen her like that before and immediately suspected the worst - she had lost the baby.  
He went to her and closed his arms around her, pulled her on the little couch.  
"I know you're m-my boss," she sobbed, "b-but I have no one to talk to ... Janne broke up." She hiccuped.  
"What an asshole!" Tuomas was shocked. "Did you tell him you're having a baby?"  
"It's the reason he left me," Tarja cried. "He doesn't want a child ... or he doesn't want a child with me, I don't know!"  
"He's an idiot," Tuomas said and shook his head.  
If that child was his, he'd be over the moon.

*

"You could have slept in my room," Tarja said again. "Don't pretend as if you've never done that before."  
"It's okay. The couch was comfortable," he lied.  
"Yeah, sure. I've slept on there plenty of times. It's not comfortable. Tonight you'll sleep in my bed again, we're not a fighting couple who can't sleep in the same bed anymore."  
Same as Noora, Tarja won every argument. This time though she only won, because Tuomas was taken aback by her words. We are not a fighting couple ...  
He had never realised how much he wanted them to be a couple before. But now he couldn't think of anything else, even while they met Viktoria's parents, he only thought about how life would be if Tarja was his girlfriend. He could take her hand now. Look into her eyes, smile at her, lean down and place a kiss on that little wrinkle next to her eye he loved so much ...  
But he didn't.  
He was too shy and he knew that she would simply push him away, shocked. He was her partner, ex boss and best friend. It would destroy everything.  
He was so deep in thoughts, that he almost didn't realise the arrival of Viktoria's parents. They spoke Finnish, gladly, so they didn't need to communicate in English. The officers spoke their condolences and then they started the questioning. The mother, a small, brunette woman, wasn't able to talk as she was crying madly. The man introduced himself as Viktoria's stepfather, while he hugged his wife tight.  
"Viki had a boyfriend you said? Have you found him yet?"  
"Not yet," Hietala spoke. "We're doing everything to find him, which is hard. We have no picture nor a name."  
"And Viki's phone?" the stepfather asked.  
"We didn't find a phone. Either she lost it or the killer has taken it with him."  
"Oh my god." The stepfather went pale. "She's really ... I can't believe it." Then he started rocking the woman back and forth. "Can we ... see her?"  
Hietala and Vuorinen exchanged a look, then the captain nodded. And Emppu asked them to stand up. As they crossed the room, the stepfather's eyes fell on Tarja.  
And he stopped. "Ava," he said. "Look at her."  
And Ava looked at Tarja.  
"You look like her," the woman whispered and cupped Tarja's cheeks. "You look like Viki!"  
"I told you ..." Tuomas mumbled next to her ear.  
"But she's dead!" Ava called and broke together. "She's dead, my good girl is dead! I see her everywhere ..."  
"Ava, that's not her," the stepfather tried to calm her and together with Marco he had to lead the woman out.  
Tarja stood there frozen.  
"What was that?"  
"I have no idea." Tuomas eyed the dark haired woman. "Are you alright?"  
"Yes ..." Tarja took a deep breath. "We have to find him. "We owe that to them."

"Exhausting day?" Tarja stroke over her daughter's head.  
The girl nodded without looking up from her homework.  
"Same here," Tarja sighed. "But we're strong."  
"Where's Tuomas?" Noora asked and Tarja smiled.   
"He won't come today. He said he would need longer for his work and he doesn't want to wake us up if he comes here at midnight or something. But tomorrow he will."  
"Why can't he move in here?" Noora asked a little sad.  
"Where should he sleep, sweetheart? He can't always share a bed with me, he's my boss."  
"But you're already sharing a bed." Noora was pouting.  
"Yes but it wouldn't work forever. We are no couple, you see."  
Noora didn't understand her mother. Her parents obviously loved each other, they had fun and laughed, sometimes fought and ignored each other but not for a long time. They talked a lot. He sometimes took her hand ...  
Tarja thought about Tuomas and how he sometimes took her hand, a nice gesture between friends. Really? Just friends?  
Definitely. Even though Tarja had imagined them to kiss many times before. And sometimes she dreamt of him as well.  
She woke up after those special dreams, finding her hand between her legs. Sometimes Tuomas was lying next to her and she dearly hoped that she hadn't moaned or said his name. He was still her boss. Partner.  
Tarja leaned back and closed her eyes. What was wrong lately? He had always been there for her but she had never felt like this before. Not even as she had been pregnant and not able to move anymore. She remembered the day her water had broke ...

"Hey, I missed you." Tarja looked at him with big eyes. She had put her book away and patted her belly. "We missed you. Loviisa and I did."  
"What happened to Kaisa?" Tuomas asked with a slight smile. Tarja changed the name for her baby every day. "Or Susanna? Or -"  
"I can't decide," Tarja sighed and tried to stand up. But it was impossible.  
"Stay. I'll cook," Tuomas offered.  
"That's sweet but you're going to poison us all."  
Tuomas had only laughed and moved to the kitchen.   
"How did your conference with the commissioner go?" Tarja called after him.  
"Quite okay!" Tuomas called back. "Next year by that time I'll already have my own office!"  
Tarja didn't like the fact that he would go away.  
"We're gonna miss you," she mumbled and rubbed her belly.  
She heard Tuomas curse and laughed.   
"What happened?"  
"Dropped an egg," was his answer.  
The pregnant woman chuckled. He was adorable. "A week left, then we'll be three," she said and patted the big ball that once had been flat. "Right? My little Noora ..."  
Tarja yawned and grabbed her phone. The clock showed half past 7 and she decided it was time to watch her favourite crime series.  
She turned around to reach for the remote control - as a pain shot through her belly. It was as if something had torn inside of her.  
She screamed and Tuomas shot out of the kitchen, watching Tarja in horror. She was clutching her belly, her face blurred with pain. "Fuck ... my water broke ... the baby is coming ..." she panted.  
"Oh God! Let me - uh let me turn off the stove and drive you to the hospital ..."  
Tuomas seemed distressed. As if it was his child that was coming. He left the fried eggs like they were and led her to a taxi.

The birth wasn't unproblematic at all. First they didn't want to let Tuomas into her room, because he wasn't the father. After Tuomas had called Marjatta and Teuvo, who were living in Kitee many hours away from them, he started pacing up and down, thinking of how to get to her. He asked a midwife if he could enter because the truth was that he wasn't the baby's father but Tarja's boyfriend. A lie - but the midwife let him inside.  
"Where have you been!" Tarja cried out. "I've been asking for you for two hours!"  
"Sorry, they wouldn't let me in cause I'm not the father."  
"But I've been asking for you ... I'm so hungry!"  
Tuomas took Tarja's hand. She looked scared, her face was sweaty and red and she was breathing fast. It would last a few more hours until it would officially start. Around midnight, they said, the birthing would start. Tarja was crying. She thought that in twelve hours it still wouldn't be over.

And she was right.  
Noora got delivered around half past nine in the morning of the next day.  
Her mother was done, tired and exhausted, her mother's boss was pale and hungry.  
The nurses brought them food and started to feed Tarja. But she was too weak to eat.

Tarja had postpartum depressions.  
They weren't strong but she needed to consult a psychiatrist, had to take medicine and was forced to quit nursing Noora early.  
Tuomas was shocked as he found out, Tarja had been so happy with her baby! She had loved it with her heart. She never had taken her eyes off the small, shrivelled thing.   
But the older Noora had turned, the quieter Tarja had become. Until Tuomas found her one day, looking down from the balcony. They were in the fourth floor only but Tarja had definitely decided to jump while Noora was in the other room, screaming.  
Tuomas had read about those depressions and had pulled her back with all his strength. Tarja had tried to push him away and almost knocked him unconscious, but in the end her boss had won.  
"What the fuck are you doing?!"  
He screamed at her. Tarja started crying.  
And then he forced her to consult a doctor.

Now, almost seven years later, she was glad that she hadn't killed herself. Noora was her one and only and she didn't know what to do without her.  
As Noora had turned three years, the little family had moved into a bigger apartment in the suburbs of Helsinki. Tarja didn't want Noora to grow up in a small flat in the middle of Helsinki, it was dirty and way more dangerous.  
And Tarja had wanted a cat, which had been impossible back then. But their apartment nowadays was on the first floor, they had a garden and a garage. And a cat, a crazy fluffball called Serafiina.  
Tarja couldn't be happier with her life. She had a wonderful job, a more wonderful boss, an even more wonderful daughter.  
But there was something about her boss lately. Something had changed, he had changed.  
He had become quieter and ... sadder?  
Tarja sat in her office and typed back some mails. There were many people in and around Helsinki who claimed their help, sometimes it were simple things like spying, the woman thought her husband was cheating on her, sometimes it were more difficult things like harassment (the woman got threatened and wasn't allowed to call the police), robbery or even homicide. But at the moment it was pretty calm.  
Tarja had to text back a few declinings, as they had all hands full with their current case. And while Tarja thought of some new ways to investigate, said boss from before entered her office.  
"Good job," he said, "Viktoria's fingers were too slim for the engagement ring to fit."  
"Maybe it wasn't hers," Tarja guessed. "It clearly wasn't a woman's ring, I'd say bring it to the lost property office and wait for someone to get it."  
"They did." Tuomas sat down on the couch opposite of Tarja's desk.  
"Good. Then why are you so down?"  
"Me? Down?"  
"You can't hide it from me." Tarja grinned at him. "I know that look. You're in love."  
"In love?" Tuomas called. "What a humbug. I'm thinking of Viktoria. She was so young ..."  
Tarja's smile faded. "I was thinking of Noora. I would be spending my whole life to raise her, give her love, give her everything she needs. And then she gets killed. I wouldn't survive."  
"Me neither," Tuomas said. "And then the police wouldn't even find her killer. We need to find him, Tarja."  
Tarja nodded, deep in thoughts. And Tuomas leaned back, observing her.  
How he had lied.  
He was in love, madly. For years already.  
But she had never noticed before.


	3. Chapter 3

The days passed and Viktoria's murderer wasn't found. Soon they had to give up and gave the body free for burial. They apologised to her parents but gladly they forgave them. How could they find a guy who surely was in Norway already? Or even further.  
They buried her in Finland, her parents decided to do so. Normally parents would take her back to her home country but Ava and Norman decided against it. Viktoria had hated Estonia and always had wanted to go to Finland. Now she'd be there forever.  
Tarja and Tuomas stood in the last row, both dressed completely in black.  
"That's sad. Now their daughter won't be with them," Tarja mumbled and Tuomas threw a look at her.  
"You mean, her grave won't be close to them. She will be with them forever."  
A smile escaped Tarja's lips. Tuomas has always had a poetic vein. Even romantic, sometimes.  
"Thanks for being here with me," she said and took his hand.  
"Of course," Tuomas mumbled. She had no idea that his heart almost jumped out of his chest that moment.  
"Makes it easier to bare all those staring people. I'm only glad that Viktoria wasn't dark haired ..."  
"But why, you could be a cousin or something."  
Tarja shrugged. "I guess everyone just misses her. Oh, it's starting."  
The priest came in, behind him the carrier with the coffin.  
The ceremony was sad and touching. Tarja was glad as they were able to leave again, both deciding that they wouldn't stay for the funeral party. How morbid to celebrate death.  
Tarja was glad that they stopped at another restaurant to get some food for themselves. In silence they ate, both caught up in their own thoughts.  
Tuomas could remember the first time he had seen her all too well ...

It was a beautiful day in May. Marco Hietala had been annoying him for days already, saying he didn't want a woman as a partner.  
"And then she just came out of police school! Means she's how old, 22? She's still a child!"  
Tuomas had rolled his eyes at the former seargent and waited for Tarja Turunen to arrive.  
And as she stepped in, his mouth went dry.  
She was small, really small, but she looked strong. Her face was angular and framed by deep black hair. Her green eyes seemed to stand out of her face. He had never seen eyes like hers before.  
"Sergeant Turunen," she had introduced herself. "And if I ever hear stupid or sexist jokes about women, you better start sleeping with your eyes open."  
Hietala had grinned from one ear to the other. "I'm Marco, your partner!" he had said. And he had never regretted it.  
Tarja had been sweet 21 years old but they had quickly seen how amazing she was. Fast as a puma, strong as a bear. Everyone in the department had loved her and everyone would have done everything for her.  
She had been scared of Tuomas though. He hadn't been so much older than her but a man his age who already was lieutenant? And then he was quiet and thoughtful, Tarja had always had much of respect of him.  
Until they started talking. Tuomas fell in love with her, slowly but deeply. Which made him even more quiet.  
And as the years passed, Tuomas became captain. Thirty years old and police captain. Tarja was proud of him, her best friend. And then it had happened.  
That one day in October she had entered his office to tell him that she was having a baby.  
And a week later she had told him that Janne had left her. And from that moment on, Tuomas was there for her as if it was his baby.  
And Tarja was forever thankful for that.

But he had never told her. Not as they had met at several Christmas parties, both quite drunk, not at Tarja's baby shower.  
Not as she had spent days at the hospital to recover from the depression, not as she had come home, telling him how much she had missed him and Noora.

A few weeks after she had nearly killed herself, Tuomas thought it was safe to leave them alone for a while. He did the shopping and came back, catching Tarja sitting on the couch calmly. She was feeding Noora from a bottle and looked at her while the baby was drinking. Her eyes were filled with love.  
"I wish I could still breast feed her," she said softly as she spotted Tuomas in the door frame. "I destroyed everything."  
A single tear escaped her eyes and stayed on the tip of her nose.  
"You didn't destroy anything," said Tuomas and sat down next to them, putting his arm around the woman gently. "I'm only glad that you're still here ..." He wiped the tear from her nose.  
But not even then he had told her.

"It's hopeless," Tarja sighed a while later. They had put Noora to bed - Tuomas had - and now they were going through material. They didn't have anything besides a ring that was too big and too manly to belong to Viktoria. They didn't know anything, whether his name nor how he looked. No one had seen anything. It had been deepest night, pitch dark and during the week, there was no chance that some drunken teens on their way home from a party could have seen them.  
"This makes no sense. We won't find him." Tarja groaned and crashed her forehead on the table. Tuomas had to smile, she was too cute when she had no idea what to do.  
"Maybe we should go to bed," he suggested, "sleep a night over it. Tomorrow everything will look different. Should I prepare our bed?"  
Tarja smiled. "Yes, please."  
She looked after him as he walked towards the bedroom, her heart almost jumping put of her chest. He was her former boss. Her best friend. Her partner in crime. But he was also so much more.   
Sometimes Tarja imagined that he would just pull her against him and press his lips on hers. They would kiss madly and tell each other how much they loved each other ... but in reality this never happened. Just in her imagination.

Tuomas was ready to tell her. Or not?  
He sat down on the bed and took the book she was currently reading from her nightstand. Where There's Smoke from Simon Beckett. He turned it to read the description as Tarja entered.  
"Is it good?" Tuomas asked and Tarja nodded.  
"I love that author. He writes wonderful crime stories. Really macabre but you know me, I love it."  
"I've heard of him but never read anything," Tuomas confessed and Tarja went to her book shelf to pull out The Chemistry Of Death.  
"Read that one. I highly recommend the series."  
As the detective took the book from her, their hands touched. And then their eyes met.  
For a few seconds it was completely silent in the room.  
So silent that Tuomas could hear his own heartbeat. Then Tarja pulled away.  
Tuomas almost let go of the book as she pulled back, sad that she broke the contact.  
"Let's get some rest," she said and turned off the light.  
She always turned off the light first, then undressed to get rid of her bra. She could also ask him to look away, Tuomas would never look at her if she didn't want him to. But she had her little idiosyncrasies and those he would never change. He loved her just the way she was.

The night went as always. They slept until the alarm clock rang at half past six, Tuomas was the first to stand up. He rushed into Noora's room, woke her up, sent her to the bathroom. Then he prepared breakfast and cocoa for Noora, coffee for Tarja and him. After Noora was done in the bathroom, he went back to the bedroom, where Tarja had fallen asleep again. She was sleeping on her belly, as always. Tuomas wondered how she had slept during her pregnancy. Her mouth was slightly opened and there was a little trail of drool hanging out of it. In times like those Tuomas noticed that she was a normal human. She seemed so unattainable during the day, that was the reason he stared at her for sometimes hours during the night.  
He was like an obsessed stalker. If it would be different if they were together? Would he finally be able to sleep then?

After they had dropped Noora off at school, they drove to their office. Tarja was so loose and blabbing happily as always, Tuomas had no clue how confused she was on the inside.  
She couldn't look at him because her breath got caught whenever she did.  
She got lost in his blue eyes or the details on his face, the little scars that had remained from his acne during his teenage years. His beautiful lips she longed to claim so bad. His eyebrows, which made him look so strict and serious.  
So she didn't look at him and talked about everything and nothing. While Tuomas listened to her voice. He loved her voice.  
He didn't say anything until he parked the car in the parking garage close to their office. The office itself was located on the fifth floor of a high building with several different companies.  
The two former police officers rode up to the fifth floor and unlocked the big office which was parted into two smaller offices and an anteroom. They hung up their jackets and walked into their offices. Both had their own, which was good, because both Tarja and Tuomas had different rituals.  
Tarja opened YouTube, she needed music while working. Tuomas needed absolute silence. The slightest noice disturbed him, that was the reason why his office only had a small window. He opened it for half an hour per day, while Tarja's big window was opened almost all day. Tuomas had a filter machine. It lasted longer to brew the coffee but it tasted better and it was quiet. Tarja had an espresso machine, a quick and loud one.  
They were so different but one thing they had in common: their endless and secret love for each other. 

Tarja was currently scrolling through pictures of the evidences, such as the hotel room, looking for something that the officers had overlooked. They always overlooked or ignored something important and in the end it was Tarja who noticed it.  
Suddenly her door flew open and Tuomas came in, his face was white as a sheet of paper.  
"Tuomas?" Tarja asked worried and jumped up. "What happened?"  
"The captain called. Another body was found, I - I'll be back soon."  
"You? I'll come with you, of course." Tarja grabbed her partner's arm to pull him into the anteroom, but Tuomas shook his head.  
"The captain said you should stay here."  
Tarja was speechless for a while. Then she started raging.  
"I hate that man! Why is he such a sexist!? He's only jealous because I'm a better investigator than him! Argh!"  
In moment like this he was afraid of her, so he allowed her to come with him.  
But soon he regretted it.

It was a woman again, a woman in her early thirties. She had been found dangling from the railing of a small yacht in Helsinki's haven. Suicide, one could think, if there weren't signs of a fight. Cuts on her thighs and face and bruises on her arms and legs.   
"He has probably strangled her first and then hung her up," Hietala guessed and threw a look at Tuomas. "Why did you bring her?"  
"Seriously, Marco?" Tuomas glared at him. "She's my partner, you can't just suspend her because she's a woman!"  
Marco sighed. "Okay. It wouldn't have stayed a secret anyway. Turunen? Come with us."  
Tarja walked behind them, her face dark. What did Marco have against her all of a sudden?  
The investigators entered the pathology and greeted Iivan Harjunpää, the pathologist.   
"Cause of death was the punch on her head with something heavy," he said, "something that must have belonged to the ship, like a door or a window. You should investigate the insides of the ship, I guess she tried to crawl away after he has knocked her over. That would explain the cuts on her legs, she crawled over an old wooden ground. And then she probably fainted or died because of inner bleedings. Then the killer took a rope and strangled her, carried her to the railing and put the rope around it before he threw her over. It could have looked like suicide but the injuries are clearly saying homicide."  
Tarja and Tuomas were speechless. They couldn't say a single word.  
She had been pretty, very pretty. Young. Definitely married, she was wearing a ring that was fitting on her finger.  
But there was one thing that disturbed Tuomas to no end: also the second victim looked like Tarja. Deep black hair. An angular face. Green eyes.  
Tuomas looked at his partner in worry. Could she be the next victim?


	4. Chapter 4

"She could be my twin sister."  
Tuomas pulled the blanket over her shaking body. He had decided to drive her home right after the meeting with the dead woman's stepmother, Tarja had seemed traumatised. Of course. Besides some fine differences like her nose or her ears, that German woman called Julia Sommer, could have been her doppelganger.  
"She couldn't. She's younger and taller than you." Tuomas tried everything to calm her but Tarja didn't want to get calm.  
"Was. She was younger than me ..." she threw a scared look at her partner. "The other woman looked similar to me ... but she looked exactly like me! Even the lips ... look at her picture!"  
Tuomas took the copy of Julia's passport. She had been pretty indeed and did look like Tarja ... a bit. Tuomas could see a similarity but he was too much in love with his partner and thought that no woman could beat her beauty.  
"Everyone has a doppelganger," Tarja went on. "And Julia was mine. How odd that she got murdered in Helsinki? Ten days after a dead woman was found who looked like her too - like me? What if I'll be next?"  
Tuomas looked at her. He could never lose her. "I'll take care of you," he said gently and sat down next to her.  
"But what if I'll ..." Tarja fell silent. "What about Noora?"  
"Do you think I'd put Noora into a children's home?" Tuomas had to laugh. It was too absurd. "Tarja, please. I'd adopt her and take her of her. But it won't be necessary..." his voice faded as he noticed her look.  
Tarja was looking at him with such soft and gentle eyes, his heart started to ache. "You'd adopt her?" she whispered.  
"Well, of course," Tuomas said, his voice raw. "Why shouldn't I? She already is like a daughter to me ..."  
Silence. For minutes. Tuomas feared that he had upset her. He wasn't Noora's father after all.  
But then - "Wow." Tarja moved a bit, looking up at him. "Would you pick her up from school then? Without me?"  
Tuomas shook his head. "But only because I couldn't leave you alone."  
"I'll be fine," Tarja chuckled. "I'll lock the door and hide in the bedroom. And I'm a police woman, Tuomas, I do know how to defend myself." She smiled. "Please ... pick up our daughter."  
That small word made everything change. Our. Our daughter.  
"Okay." He kissed her forehead. "I'll lock the door twice. Three times. Don't open a window. Don't move, don't listen to music. Don't even breathe too loud!"  
"Nothing will happen," Tarja chuckled. She enjoyed his concern. It was cute. "Can I read a book?"  
"But without earplugs! I know you, Tarja."  
"I won't use earplugs, I promise." Tarja's heart jumped. He really knew her. He payed attention to all those small things they never talked about, like Tarja reading with earplugs so no noise could disturb her.  
He kissed her forehead again. "I'll drive fast."  
Tarja looked after him as he left. He had kissed her forehead. Twice. Maybe those cases were what they had needed. Maybe he had finally realised that they were more than friends ...  
Tarja couldn't wait to find out.

Tuomas held his promise. He almost broke a law while driving, reaching the school five minutes earlier than usual. Noora just came out of the building, her eyes growing wide as she spotted her mother's car already.  
And a smile spread across her face as she saw Tuomas. It was always funny with Tuomas alone, he wasn't as strict as her mother. He bought her ice cream and told her not to tell her mother. He helped her with her homework. He never scolded her and let her watch television in the evening. And he was a kinder piano teacher than her mother. Her mother was so impatient with her and forced Noora to play an hour per day. Tuomas said she could play as long as she wanted to. And he was funnier.  
"Tuomaaaas!" the girl cried and jumped into the man's arms. "Can we go to the cinema?? Or to the zoo??" Noora knew he wouldn't say no, he never did. But this time she was wrong.  
"Your mother isn't feeling well. We need to return as quickly as possible."  
Noora was sad. "But at home, can I watch TV?"  
"After your piano lesson." The man winked.  
Noora grinned - Tuomas' winks were always a good sign.

"Noora?" Tarja asked weakly as Tuomas opened the door carefully.  
"Playing the piano. Hear it?" Tuomas opened the door a little more and Tarja nodded.  
"Thank you."  
"No need. Do you want to come to the dining room? I cooked for us."  
Tarja sat up. "You? You cooked? Is it safe to eat?"  
"It's just blueberry pancakes, so yes."  
Tarja laughed. Pancakes was the only thing he could do better than her. She stood up and followed him to the dining room. Tuomas called Noora and then they had pancakes for lunch.

Tarja and Tuomas had decided not to go back to their office that day, which had made especially Noora happy. It meant that they didn't have to bring her to the day care centre and that she could spend the whole day with Tuomas.  
Tarja watched her daughter and her boss slash partner fool around like father and daughter would do. Her heart swelled as she remembered Tuomas' words from before. She was like a daughter to him ...  
"Don't bring her to bed too late," Tarja said as she stood up from the couch. "I'll go on reading my book and I'll wear earplugs."  
"Be careful," Tuomas said with a light smile and continued tickling the little girl.

Tarja went to the bedroom.  
After thinking for a while, she locked the door. She went to the window and closed the curtains. Then she went to her secret drawer, she hadn't opened it in ages. It was hidden inside her closet and Tuomas had - hopefully - no clue that it existed.  
She opened it and pulled out her desired object, a large bullet vibrator.  
She switched it on and immediately switched it off again. It was too loud. She couldn't do it with Noora and Tuomas in the next room, they would hear the vibration. Next time she was alone she'd do it.  
Quickly she put it back into the drawer and closed it. Then she continued reading, something better than sex, in her opinion.

Tuomas put Noora to bed.  
He read a story to her, one by Astrid Lindgren again. He read until she fell asleep, which usually happened between twenty and thirty minutes. And then he went to the bedroom. Tarja looked up for a second as he entered and then looked down at the book again.  
"She's sleeping tight," Tuomas said but Tarja didn't react. Right. She was wearing earplugs.   
Tuomas grinned as he went towards her slowly from the front. She didn't see him.  
Following happened fast.  
He jumped on the bed and grabbed her shoulders, Tarja screamed and hit her book on his head.  
Tuomas had to laugh while Tarja removed her earplugs with a sour expression on her face.  
"I told you to be careful. Seriously, you should stop wearing those earplugs."  
"You're right," Tarja said. "But why be careful? I have you."  
Tuomas crawled under the blanket.  
"You're right. I'll always take care of you."  
Tarja put her book away and crawled closer to him.  
"Really?"  
"Of course. Also after we've caught that asshole." He put his arms around her tiny body.  
"Why?" Her green eyes bore into his.  
"Why not?" he asked and pulled her closer.  
"Because I'll be safe after that."  
"But I like taking care of you." Tuomas' voice was just as soft as his eyes.  
"Why?" Now she was whispering. And her eyes slowly fell close.  
"Because ... just because ..."  
And then he sunk his lips on hers.

I have a date, Tarja had said. And she had vanished in the bathroom. Stayed there for two hours. And as she returned, she didn't look like herself. Her eyelids were deep black and her lips were cherry red. She was wearing a too tight dress with a too deep cut out. Her hair was curled.  
"Wow! You look like a princess!" Noora had called.  
"Actually you look like a hooker," Tuomas had lied. She looked gorgeous. But what for?   
"You're an ass," Tarja said while applying make up to her face.  
"Who is he?" Tuomas leaned against the doorframe.  
"A guy I went to police school with. I'm so excited!"  
Tuomas' heart had almost broke with jealousy. He knew why she dressed like that.  
"So you decided to bang him."  
"I haven't had sex since Janne broke up with me," Tarja whispered. "Which would be five years now! That's quite some time!"  
Same here, Tuomas had wanted to say, but instead he had wished her good luck.  
And he had been very glad as Tarja returned at ten already.  
"That asshole dumped me," she hissed and threw her purse onto the floor. It went open and several condoms flew out. Tarja blushed and quickly lifted them up.  
"Why did he dump you?" Tuomas asked, trying to ignore the fact that she was picking up packs of condoms.  
"I told him about Noora. Men are such assholes! But I get it, there's no sane man on this earth who would date a single mother.  
There is, Tuomas thought. But he didn't say it.

Slowly he pulled away.  
He didn't open his eyes, not yet. His lips remained on hers. His nose was rubbing against hers gently.  
He felt Tarja's lips part and suddenly there was something wet running along his lower lip. Her tongue.  
Tuomas gave in and parted his lips as well, making their tongues meet.  
And suddenly Tarja pulled back.  
"Tuomas - I'm sorry ..."  
"But why?" Tuomas whispered and caressed her face.   
"I don't know ... It was right somehow."  
"It was. Why did you pull away?"  
"You're my boss."  
"Partner. And more if you want to." He stroke a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled as she blushed.   
"Friends?"  
"More if you want to," Tuomas repeated and kissed her again.  
This time his hand came to rest on her waist. And Tarja wrapped her hands around his neck, giving in into the kiss.  
After a wonderful eternity, they both pulled away. Air was still essential.   
"I've wanted to do that for such a long time," Tuomas sighed and pulled her close.  
"Then why didn't you do that earlier?" Tarja mumbled and placed her head on his chest.  
"I'm a shy man," Tuomas explained and Tarja chuckled.  
"I know." She inserted her hand into his shirt, starting to play with his chest hair. "Does that mean that I have to take the next step?"  
"Hm?" Tuomas started but was cut off by Tarja kissing him again. And this kiss turned into a heated and passionate kiss quickly, lead by Tarja. She pulled his shirt over his head and threw it to the floor. Her own shirt followed and then the journey of her hands began. They roamed over his chest, arms, stomach, shoulders. Tuomas watched her as she unclasped her bra, his eyes widened as she pulled it off. Tarja moved a bit and sat down on him, hoping to feel an erection. Sadly she didn't, so she continued.  
Her own hands closed around her breasts and she started kneading, moaning softly. "Do you want to ...?"  
As he reached up to feel her breasts, he felt a part of himself awakening fast. "Tarja ..." he moaned.  
"I feel it ..." Tarja got off of him to open his jeans.  
"Tarja ..." he moaned again. "I haven't had sex in ages ..."  
"As you know, me neither ..."  
They looked at each other. And then they laughed.  
"Come here." Tuomas widened his arms and Tarja crawled into his embrace. They kissed again, gently, slowly, deeply. Tuomas stroke her backside, her long, black hair, her spine. And then he took her waist and turned her so he was on the top. And then he started to ravish her body the way she deserved it.

She was in his arms, sleeping tight. Tuomas couldn't believe what had happened. They had made love unconditionally. But he had not told her what he felt ...  
"I love you," he whispered into her ear but she didn't move. He chuckled and kissed her shoulder.  
Now he could take care of her forever.  
Hopefully.


	5. Chapter 5

Tuomas couldn't stop staring at her.  
It had been a dream, it must have been a dream. There were no used condoms anywhere as a proof. He needed a while to remember that they hadn't used one. He swallowed.  
Could it have been real? He carefully peeked below the blanket - both of them were naked. And boy, she had an amazing body. He placed his hand on her cheek and stroke it lightly. The alarm would ring in a few minutes anyway and he needed to talk to her.  
"Tari," he whispered gently and pinched her cheek. "Wake up."  
Her beautiful, green eyes fluttered open and she smiled.  
He was the first thing she saw. He was beautiful.  
He smiled at her and her heart swelled.  
"Good morning ..." she whispered and he smiled more.  
"I don't want to get up today."  
"We have to ... Noora has to go to school."  
Tuomas stroke his finger along her nose.  
"Let's bring her to school and then return."  
"No work today?" Tarja mumbled. His finger trailed along her lips.  
"No. I want to spend the day with you."  
"We do everyday." Tarja couldn't help but giggle.   
"I mean like this." Tuomas pulled her close and kissed her. His hands found their way up to her breasts but as he started to caress them, she pulled away.   
"Noora ..."  
Tuomas sighed and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back."  
"If not, I'll kill you," Tarja mumbled as Tuomas crawled out of the bed.  
"And if I'll be back?"  
"I'll kiss you."  
Tuomas grinned. "Sounds promising. I'll be back." He got dressed quickly. Tarja followed every of his movements with her eyes.  
And after he had left the room, she buried her face in her pillow, grinning just as broad as him before.  
They had done it. They had done it! They had kissed, they had slept with each other ... Tarja remembered the way he had caressed every inch of her body, the way he had loved every inch of her body. He had been so persistent ... just like a real police man. And like a real lover he hadn't stopped after her her first orgasm. Or second, or third ...  
Tarja grinned more. Did he have that much experience or had he done good research? Tarja assumed the latter, Tuomas hadn't had a girlfriend or an affair for the last seven or even more years. And why did she know that?  
He had always been with her.  
Why hadn't he had an affair?  
"Because of me ..." Tarja whispered.  
She had been so, so stupid. All those years he had watched her, taken care of her, given up his love life. And she had thought he didn't love her ...  
She was glad that she hadn't waited longer, if she had, he would have been out of the door. Probably.  
She had no idea how much he really loved her.

"Good morning, princess ..." Tuomas woke up his daughter.  
Yes, Noora was his daughter, he had been there his whole life, raised her, loved her. He saw himself as her father.  
"Morning ..." Noora yawned. "Is my cocoa ready?"  
"Not yet. We were busy but get dressed and I'll prepare it in the meantime."  
"You were busy?" Noora sat up. "With what?"  
Tuomas laughed and pinched the girl's nose. "We've had an adult chat."  
"About me?"  
"No - why?"  
"Because ... you sometimes talk about me." The blonde girl sunk her look.  
"That's true, we talk about you a lot," Tuomas said, "because we love you and want the best for you."  
"I can't remember what you said," Noora said quietly. "But it sounded as if mommy would leave ..."  
Tuomas thought about their conversations. Yes, they often had talked about different possibilities like - recently - Tuomas adopting Noora because of her mother's decease. But they had always paid attention that Noora wasn't at home. Or in her room. Well ...  
"Your mother would never leave you," Tuomas promised. "And I also wouldn't. Never. But you know, it's kind of dangerous to go out for your mother lately."  
"Am I in danger too?"  
"I don't think so." Tuomas shook his head. At least I hope so ...

Noora stared at her parents with a huge grin. They acted different today. Very different. They teased each other on their way to school and halfway on their way, her mother took her father's hand.  
Noora looked away, asking herself what she had missed. And as Tuomas stopped at a red traffic light, they exchanged a long look.  
For Noora it was gentle, but for the adults it was so much more.  
Gentle, yes, but also longing. Promising. Heated. Caring. Loving ...

They dropped Noora off and drove back home immediately. They didn't even think of going to the office.  
At home they almost forgot to lock the door. Tuomas gladly remembered and locked it quickly, before he continued undressing her.  
They had darkened the room, it was so dark that they could only see each other.  
In the heat of the moment they forgot who they were. And what they did, what they were supposed to do.  
Captain Hietala called them for a few times but no one picked up.  
They were busy with each other, busy with loving each other.  
But after two hours, a strange noise made them look up.  
"What was that??" Tuomas breathed. He hated to stop now.  
"I think it was the doorbell ..." Tarja whispered and pulled him down again. "Continue."  
Tuomas bent down and kissed her shoulder, worked his lips up to her throat - as the doorbell rang again.  
And again and again.  
"Fuck!" Tarja groaned. "Ignore it ..."  
"But what if it's urgent?" Tuomas pulled himself out of her and Tarja moaned.  
"What could be more urgent than this ..."  
"Noora?" Tuomas said. "Maybe she's sick and a teacher brought her home ..."  
Tarja closed her eyes as he turned the light on. "Be quick ... I'll continue without you."  
"Don't you dare," Tuomas laughed and closed the door behind him.  
He wrapped a towel around his middle while he walked to the door.  
He looked through the door spy and cursed - what was captain Hietala doing here?!  
He had no time to get dressed, so he opened. Just a bit to peek through the open slit.  
"Yes?"  
"Tuomas??"  
"Yes, Marco?"  
"What - where - Emppu and I have been trying to call you for two hours!"  
"Tarja is ill," Tuomas explained.  
"I get that," Marco said and nodded. "After yesterday's shock ... But you should have told us. We would have needed you two."  
"Sorry," Tuomas said and tried to close the door. But Marco had put his foot into the slit.  
"Are you naked?"  
"Just came out of the shower."  
Marco raised his brow. "You're ... dry."  
"I don't have to explain myself why I'm dry!" Tuomas said. "Don't be nosy. See you."  
Then he crashed the door close.

After that incident whether Tuomas nor Tarja could go on. They cuddled up on the couch together and watched Tarja's favourite crime series, it had around ten seasons and Tarja had all of them.  
"Doesn't that inspector get the female pathologist later?" Tuomas whispered against her temple in the middle of the episode.  
"Mhh? Oh yeah, they marry and have a baby ... they're cute."  
"We're cuter," Tuomas chuckled. "Dancing around each other for years, never getting any single hint ..."  
"You hinted something? Can't remember." Tarja smiled up to him.   
"I am shy," Tuomas defended himself and Tarja laughed.  
"That's one of the reasons I fell for you."  
Tuomas' heart jumped with joy as she said that. "Do you remember when we became friends? I was so shocked that a small human like you could talk so much."  
"And I was impressed by your silence and shyness. I've always wondered about what you've been thinking ..."  
Tuomas pressed pause so they could go on talking. "About you. Always. About your eyes, your face, your nose, your lips ..." He kissed her gently. "Your hair, your voice, your body, your laugh ..."  
"My body?"  
"Of course." He placed his hand on her ass. "Don't forget that cute little -"  
Tarja pressed her finger on his lips. "Shh, don't destroy it."  
"Okay."  
Again they kissed.  
For a longer time and more gentle than before. Until Tarja pulled away to look at him shyly.  
"Are we ..."  
"Together?" Tuomas asked and pecked her lips. "I hope so."  
"Then we are." Tarja's heart felt like flying.  
"We are ..." Tuomas held her tight. It had been easier than he had expected ...

After lunch they decided to go to the office. They couldn't simply stay at home all day!  
"Let's pick up Noora together and bring her to the day care," Tuomas suggested. He didn't want to leave his love alone.  
"Or," Tarja started, "you'll drop me off at the office, bring Noora to the day care and then return?"  
"I don't want to leave you alone. I made a promise."  
"I'll be fine. It's just the office." Tarja smiled him. How cute he was when he was worried.

Tarja took the elevator to their office. She had turned into a paranoid little girl since they had found the second body. She knew that it was probably a coincidence, yet she watched every single one of her footsteps. One could never know. The second victim, Julia Sommer, had been murdered in her summer cottage at the shore.  
She had been married indeed but her husband had stayed at home. In Helsinki she probably had had a lover, Tarja was sure of that fact. They hadn't found condoms but, according to her very shocked stepmother, she had a contraceptive coil. Both of Julia's parents were dead. Her stepmother, Kathrin Herzog, had quickly come to Finland to identify the body. And now she was devastated. How to tell Jannick, her husband? And their son Paul - he was only a year old! Tarja had spent an hour watching Tuomas comforting her, while her mind had still been with Julia.  
Why did she look like her? Why?  
Gladly they had gone home right after that.  
Tarja sighed and sat down, entering YouTube. Wintersun, that was what she needed at the moment.  
After only a few minutes, the telephone in Tuomas' office rang. Without thinking twice, Tarja walked into the other office to pick up.  
The voice on the other line was shocked as she did so.  
"Tarja??"

Tuomas hated to leave her alone. But, as he had known for years already, she won every argument besides those with her daughter.  
Tuomas picked the girl up from school and promised her to help her with her homework as soon as they returned to their home.  
"Have you and my mother finally talked?" Noora asked shyly as Tuomas stopped the car in front of the day day centre.  
"About?" Tuomas asked. Talked. They definitely hadn't talked much.  
"About your love!" Noora called. "I saw you holding hands this morning."  
"Oh, that. Well, my dear, I might move in with you two permanently."  
"Yay!" Noora shouted and started dancing on her seat. "I'm so happy! So happy! So you will be my real daddy??"  
They hadn't talked about adoption yet. But as Tuomas thought about it he realised: he wanted it. He wanted to adopt Noora.  
He hugged her, told her to behave and went back into the car.  
As he drove back to the office, he switched on the police radio. Tuomas and Tarja always listened to police radio when they weren't with Noora.  
And while he drove, a sudden announcement almost made his heart stop.  
"New body found ..."  
"In an office near the centre."  
"White woman, around thirty years."  
"Have you got a name?"  
"Not yet, just got a call from the cleaning lady."  
"Tell Captain Hietala to come over."  
"He's on his way already."  
"Did he say a name?"  
"Yes, he seemed really distressed. I think he knows her."  
"What's her name?"  
"It's Tarja Turunen."  
"No."  
"No ..." Tuomas whispered.  
"The detective?"  
"I don't know, she was found in her office."  
Tuomas hit the gas.  
Another body found ...  
It's Tarja Turunen ...


	6. Chapter 6

Tuomas had never been so fast in the office.  
He ripped the door of Tarja's room open and fell on his knees as he noticed that it was empty.  
Of course he should have noticed that it was completely empty, no investigators, no body, no blood. Not even signs of a fight. But the shock still sat deep in his bones, whereby his brain didn't manage to think logical.  
"Tarja!" he shouted and buried his face in his hands. "No ... No... Tari, my love ..."

Tarja's heart stung as she heard him cry. She jumped up immediately to go to the other room. And while she approached him, he called her "his love". She smiled.  
"It's another Tarja," she said and touched his shoulder gently.  
He turned around frightened and let out a little scream. "Tari-!"  
Tarja had never seen him lose his emotions before. Never.  
She hugged him right and kissed his forehead. "I'm here. I'm alive. I won't leave you."  
"There's another Tarja Turunen who got killed," he whispered into her chest. "I thought it was you."  
"Marco thought so too. He called here. Oh, Tuomas ..."  
"You can't stay here. It's too dangerous."  
Tarja looked up at him, her eyes full of tears. "Where should I go?"  
"Your father. He still lives in Kitee, right?"  
Tarja nodded.

Teuvo Turunen picked up his daughter and granddaughter the next day.  
Tuomas couldn't believe that he had had this woman for a day and she already had to leave him again. Since they had no idea how long she'd be gone, they had spent the night together. Both had decided to stay awake and talk. And they did, until three in the morning they talked.  
Tuomas got to hold her in his arms, caressing her back gently. And then, around midnight, he had finally said it.  
"I love you, Tarja. I've always loved you, the second I saw you I started loving you."  
Tarja had closed her eyes, enjoying his words.   
"When you told me about your pregnancy, my world broke together. But then he left you and I realised it was my chance ..."  
"You took advantage of it and you've done a great job," Tarja whispered and took his hands. "Show me how much you love me."  
After making passionate love to her, he spooned her and wrapped his arms around her. He pressed a kiss on her shoulder and Tarja turned her head.  
"I love you too."  
"You do?" Tuomas' heart felt like bursting.  
"Maybe not from the first second ... I guess I started loving you during that whole pregnancy thing. But yes, oh yes, I love you. So much ..."  
Tuomas kissed her shoulder again. "I'll catch that asshole. Not for Viktoria, Julia or the other Tarja. Not for any of their parents. Just for you and your safety. And once you return to a safe Helsinki, we will start a new life. Together. As a couple. As a family."  
Tarja smiled. "Sounds great."  
She really thought so. Maybe he would ask her to marry him one day. Or maybe she'd get pregnant again. Tarja always said that she didn't want a second child but with Tuomas it was something different.

They kissed goodbye.  
They didn't care about the fact that Teuvo and Noora were waiting in the car, definitely seeing them.  
They kissed for minutes, laying all their love into the kiss.  
"I'll miss you so much," Tarja whispered against his lips as they pulled apart a bit.  
"It won't be forever." Tuomas caressed her cheek. "But I'll miss you too. My one and only ..."  
Tarja's heart clenched. "I wish you could come with us."  
Tuomas smiled sadly. "I also wish I could. Oh my dear, I'll call you everyday."  
Tarja nodded. "My love." She hugged him.  
"One and only," Tuomas repeated softly. They hugged until he felt something wet on his chest. Tarja was crying.  
"I know it won't be forever but we have actually no idea when you'll catch him. And then it's been only two days since you and I ..."  
"Don't think so much," Tuomas said gently. "We'll be united soon again. That's a promise."  
Tuomas led her to the car.  
"Congratulations," Teuvo called as they opened the door. "Was about time."  
Tuomas only grinned. "I think so too, Mr Turunen."  
"Teuvo, please," Tarja's father chuckled.  
Tarja pecked her lover's lips again before she sat down. "See you soon. Very soon."  
"Promised." Tuomas waved Noora. "See you, sweetie!"  
"Bye, Tuomas," Noora replied. It sounded sour but her mother guessed it was because they were leaving him behind.

Tarja leaned her head against the window. Silent tears were running down her cheeks. Happy tears this time.  
She couldn't believe she had found someone like Tuomas ...

Two weeks later ...

Tarja waited everyday. She was angry, sad, disappointed. Noora had been brought back to Helsinki by Teuvo already a week ago. Tarja had decided that missing one week at school was more than enough and that she wasn't in danger. Yet Tuomas picked her up from school and brought her into the police office everyday.   
He thought that the day care centre wasn't safe enough and in the office she was surrounded by police men. One of them, Klaara, liked her a lot and treated her like one of her own kids.   
Tuomas spent his time at the police office too, he was still determined to catch that asshole, even though after two weeks it didn't look good for them.  
"He could be everywhere," Lieutenant Vuorinen explained at least five times a day, "Lapland, Stockholm, Moscow, ..."  
"London," Tuomas grunted. "New York. Or fucking Australia." He crashed his fist on the table. "I need to catch him. Tarja is in danger. I can't lose her ..."  
No one said a word but all eyes were on him. The detective was shaking and Marco knew him well enough to know that, if someone would touch him now, he'd explode.  
"Tuomas," he said gently. "You know you won't lose her. Right?"  
"She's my everything ..." He hid his face in his palm. "If she dies..."  
"I promise, you won't lose your love," Marco assured him.  
"How do you know? She hasn't been in Helsinki for two weeks and there hasn't been a homicide in two weeks. I tell you, that guy is in Kitee. He is in Kitee!"  
"I don't think so. How would he know that Tarja is in Kitee?" Marco tried everything to calm him.  
"You're right. As long as he didn't stalk us, he can't know."  
But how could Tuomas be sure that he didn't stalk them?

"How long?" Tarja asked as she called her lover. "How long won't I be able to see you?"  
"We don't know, love." Tuomas rubbed his temples. "I wish soon. But we totally lost his tracks and as soon as he doesn't make a mistake again -"  
"I'm coming back, Tuo," Tarja decided.  
"What - no! No. What if he's just waiting for you?"  
"Then we'll catch him faster! Look, I have a plan. I return, go out in the evening -"  
"No," Tuomas moaned.  
"With you and the police men somewhere in the bushes, I sit down somewhere inside the park and wait."  
"Forget it! What if he shoots you?"  
"Tuomas, the other women were strangled. All of them. I don't think he'd shoot me."  
"Actually Viktoria froze to death -"  
"Yes, but Julia and Tarja were strangled. Ugh, it feels wrong to say my own name in connection to a topic like this. Anyway, I don't think he'd -"  
"But still. He could stab you while walking by. I don't know, Tarja, I just know that I can't lose you!"  
Tarja didn't reply first. Then she said slowly, "You won't lose me. I just miss you so damn much, that's why I want to go back."  
"Stay where you are, okay? Promised?" Tuomas sounded strict, so Tarja sighed.  
"Okay. Promised."

Tarja stayed where she was, which was good, since Tuomas had planned to visit her. On Friday after he picked up Noora from school, he bought sandwiches for the drive and then they drove to Kitee. The girl had calmed down again, she wasn't jealous anymore. At least she hadn't been for the last two weeks, but as her mother jumped into the arms of her Tuomas and kissed him mindlessly, the girl felt an strange feeling in her throat.

Tarja couldn't believe her eyes. Tuomas! And Noora! She jumped around and squealed as Teuvo opened the door to let them inside, and after giving her daughter a kiss, she jumped on her boyfriend.  
"I love you, I love you, I love you," she said between every kiss.  
"I couldn't go on without you anymore," Tuomas said gently. "It feels so strange. And I still need to get introduced to you father as your boyfriend. Officially."  
"Right, haha, I forgot that. Well, daddy - you already know Tuomas. My boss slash partner slash boyfriend."  
Teuvo laughed and reached out his hand. "Welcome, lad, and thanks for making my daughter so happy."

They planned to stay for the weekend. As usual Tuomas brought Noora to bed, but this Friday she acted strange.  
"You can go," she said with an upset expression in her voice. "Go to my mum."  
"Are you okay?" Tuomas asked and sat down on the bed next to the girl. "I know something is ..."  
"No, it's just - I'm scared that you'll forget me."  
"Why would I?" Tuomas laughed.  
"I don't know ... lately you're kissing my mother all the time ..."  
Tuomas sighed and took Noora's hands. "Recently I've told your mother what I feel for her," he started. "And I am lucky that she returns those feelings. But Noora, dear, those feelings have been there for a while now. They just didn't appear all of a sudden."  
"They didn't?"  
"No, sweetheart. Which means we won't treat you any different or love you any less. The only thing is, that your mother and I need some more time now to make something out of those feelings. One day I might ask her to marry me ... and didn't you say you wanted a sibling?"  
Noora's eyes were wide. "Am I getting a sibling??"  
"Maybe." Tuomas ruffled through the girl's blonde hair. "Now sleep, sweetheart."  
And then he returned to the bedroom, where Tarja was waiting for him in a black negligee.  
"Oh, Tari ..." Tuomas whispered and locked the door before he jumped at her to take the negligee off of her.

But Sunday came fast and Tuomas promised Tarja to come back next weekend. "I couldn't live without you." He caressed her jaw. "Even if we weren't together. You're the most important human in my life."  
Tarja blushed. "Don't let Noora hear that ..."  
"We two arranged that," Tuomas said lowly. "She was a little jealous but it's fine now."  
Tarja grinned. "Jealous? Of who, me?"  
"Mhm. But don't worry."  
"I need to talk to her," Tarja mumbled and kissed her lover's lips. "See you soon. Alright?"  
"Very soon." Tuomas stroke her cheek. He didn't want to part with her again, it felt horrible.  
Tarja felt like crying as she went to her daughter. "Noori," she said gently and hugged the girl. "My most precious thing on earth."  
"Mommy," Noora mumbled and hugged her back.  
"I'll miss you. Let's forget Tuomas, I'm going to miss you. Don't be mad at me."  
"Why should I be mad? Tuomas promised me a sibling." Noora grinned.  
Tarja's mouth went open. "Wha - oh my - it's not that easy!"  
Noora kissed her mother's cheek. "Until next weekend."

Tarja watched the car leave, shaking her head. He promised her a sibling. Wow. Tuomas' ways of raising the girl weren't right but at least they weren't totally horrible. She sighed and went back to the house.  
"Father? Do you want me to cook?"  
"That would be great!" Teuvo called back and Tarja went to the kitchen. As she started cooking though, she was interrupted by the telephone.  
She went to the anteroom to pick up - "Turunen?" - and only heart breathing on the other line. Soft, quiet breaths.  
"Hello?"  
"Tarja?" a male voice said.  
"Yes, who's there?"  
But the man hung up. And Tarja stared at the telephone, knowing all to well who had been on the other line.


	7. Chapter 7

Tarja was sure that she had talked to the killer the other day, yet she didn't dare to tell Tuomas. What if it had been a joke? What if someone of the police office had called to check if she was okay? Tarja tried to talk herself into believing it. But sadly the calls didn't stop.  
After three days he had called her on a daily basis, everytime the telephone rang, Tarja was the one to pick up.  
And then, on Thursday, he finally said something else than her name.  
"Are you having a good time with your detective?"  
Tarja pressed the earpiece against her ear. She knew that voice. It sounded familiar.  
"Yes, he's doing everything for me. So you better stay away from me, otherwise he might kill you."  
"I don't want to hurt you, Tarja. But I need to talk to you," was the man's reply.  
"No!" Tarja whispered. "You killed those women -"  
"I did." The man laughed with so much satisfaction in his voice, that it sent a shiver down Tarja's spine. "Now let's talk. Tomorrow at six in the evening, at the place where it began. Be there or the next victim will be your father. Tell anyone, no matter who, and the next victim will be someone else you love."  
"Where everything -," Tarja was confused. "Wait, where -"  
The line went dead. He had hung up.  
Tarja thought hard. The place where it began? Where what began, her police career? Her relationship with Tuomas? No, that wasn't far enough in the past.  
Since the man knew that she was in Kitee, he definitely also meant a place in Kitee. Right? But what had begun here? Tarja could only think of her school. Or the hospital, where she had found out about her mother's illness.  
Be there or the next victim will be your father...  
"Dad?" Tarja called. "What are you doing tomorrow evening?"  
"Nothing, why?" Teuvo called back. "Do you want to go out with me?"  
"No, I want to go out with a friend," Tarja said as she walked into the living room. "And I want you to stay at home."  
"Oh - alright. Well, I have nothing to do anyway."  
"Promise me to stay at home."  
Tarja's face was cold and strict and Teuvo chuckled. "I promise, officer. Whom are you going to meet?"  
"Don't be so nosy," Tarja said with a small smile. She'd like to know herself.  
Teuvo squinted his eyes at his daughter. "You're not cheating on Tuomas, are you?"  
Tarja's face fell. "No - why! I would never!"  
"Then whom are you meeting?"  
Tarja sighed. She really should tell someone.  
Tell someone and the next victim will be someone else you love...  
Tuomas. Noora. Toni. Timo. Her father. Those five were the most important people to her. She couldn't play with their destiny.  
"An old friend of me. Luziia, if you remember her."  
"Rings a bell. Okay, sorry I implied cheating."  
"No problem." Tarja turned around quickly and vanished in her bedroom, sitting down at the desk.  
Who could it be? She went through all the men she knew from Kitee, even her former teachers.  
But nothing.  
How was she supposed to know where to meet that guy? The place where it began ...  
What? Where what began?? Tarja groaned and slammed her head against the desk.  
What should she do? Call every man in Kitee she knew? Yes ...  
Quickly she opened a word document and started writing them down, leaving away her father and brothers. Why would they do something like that?  
Reverend Koski, hopefully not  
Plamen Dimov (Why would he? Tarja thought but wrote him down anyway.)  
Timo Mäkäräinen, my former best friend  
Fiido Jarkkonen, the shop keeper   
Eemil Tahti, Toni's former best friend  
Juha Kettonen, former English teacher  
Janne Harkkanen, my ex -  
Tarja stopped writing. Janne. Would he be able to do something like that? He had never hit her, not once. He had always been a calm guy, never been killed a fly or spider. Always been a decent guy, he had never even cheated on her. He could never murder someone.  
Tarja deleted his name.

Almost the whole night she sat by the word document.  
At four she decided to call it a night and went to bed to get at least some sleep. Maybe she would dream of the answer ...

She didn't. Around eleven she woke up, hungry and with a horrible headache. After swallowing two pills of paracetamol, she went down to eat something.  
"You look horrible," her father greeted her. "Haven't you slept well?"  
"Not really," Tarja yawned. "Hey, do you have an up to date telephone book of Kitee?"  
Teuvo stared at his daughter. "Of course but what for?"  
"I need to call Luziia, forgot the meeting place."  
Teuvo shook his head with a light smile. "And you're supposed to be a detective. One second, Tari."  
Her heart ached. She wished she could just tell him ...

Tarja called everyone of her list. Former teachers, former friends, former acquaintances. The dialogues went mostly the same:  
\- Hei, here's Tarja.  
\- Tarja who?  
\- You know who I am. When will we meet again today?  
\- You must have dialled the wrong number.  
\- Oh! I'm so sorry. Goodbye!  
Sometimes when a woman picked up, she apologised immediately and hung up afterwards. Something told her that the killer was not in a relationship.

It was three in the afternoon and Tarja was devastated. Of course she hadn't been successful with calling all of them. Some didn't pick up, some didn't have a right number.  
Tarja felt like crying.  
The place where it began.  
She closed her eyes to think back of her childhood. There were many places where something could have begun, the soccer field. The church. The school. The island on the lake -  
Tarja felt wide awake all of a sudden.  
Talvi Rautanen's party in tenth grade. The place she had talked to her childhood and teen crush for the first time, only because her best friend had forced her to drink two bottles of beer.  
"Talk to him! Now!" Sirja was determined to have Tarja talk to him. And Tarja took another sip of her beer, shook herself because of the taste, went to him and said his name to make him turn around.  
"Janne!"  
Where it began.  
With shaking hands, Tarja dialled the number of Janne Harkkanen.  
And after some seconds, as he picked up, Tarja was sure that it was him. It was Janne. Her ex boyfriend.   
"Hello? Is anyone there?"  
Tarja felt her eyes burn and quickly hung up. His voice had changed a lot from last time they had talked. He sounded ... more dangerous. Ill. What had happened to the cute, nice cello player of the Kiteen orchestra she had admired and loved so much?  
The detective couldn't help but cry. From all those men she had met, Janne was the last who could have killed someone. No. Something wasn't right. Janne was decent. The only stupid thing he had ever done was leaving a pregnant woman. But that was seriously everything, he hadn't even smoked. Never done drugs.  
Maybe he has started after me, Tarja thought horrified. No, it couldn't be.  
But at least now she knew where to meet him. She'd talk to him ... she had to tell Tuomas.  
Quickly she opened a chat with her beloved.  
I know who the killer is!! She typed. Come to Kitee asap. He's here.  
Then she thought again. She couldn't tell Tuomas where he was over a text message. He would drive crazy - literally. Probably he would have an accident.  
"Okay, what will Tuomas do if he arrives here?" Tarja thought loudly. "Come here, of course. Ask my father where I am. And he would say I'm meeting a friend called Luziia. Maybe he would go upstairs to wait for me. Or to find hints where we went to?"  
Tarja deleted the names from her text document and wrote in big letters:  
IT'S JANNE. He's at the island on the lake. Ask my father to drive you. Love you.

I know who the killer is!! Come to Kitee asap. He's here.  
Tuomas stared at Tarja's message. Was she crazy now? Tuomas was sure she was crazy, since she had turned of her phone. He had texted and called her a million times now, she didn't pick up and didn't text back.  
Of course Tuomas and captain Hietala had jumped into the police car immediately. The only thing that counted now was getting to Tarja before she could do something stupid. Tuomas knew her. And he also knew he wouldn't be there on time.

Against every reason Tarja drove to the island. She had left her phone at home, had checked her laptop before she went there. The screensaver wouldn't be activated, the laptop wouldn't shut down and Tuomas would immediately see the word document.  
She parked the car in front of the water and took the boat of her family. Her heart was racing as she came closer to the island. She send a last prayer to God that if wasn't Janne who would wait for her.  
But sadly god didn't hear her prayer.  
She stepped on the island as quietly as she could, getting closer to the wooden house in the middle. But as she peeked inside, someone grabbed her from behind.  
"Glad you're here," he purred against her ear, then stroke her hair away and started kissing her shoulder. "I missed you ..."  
"Stay away from me," Tarja said. Her voice betrayed her, it was shaking madly. Janne let out a little laugh and turned her around to make her look at him.  
He looked horrible.  
The once soft face had turned old, he looked at least ten years older than he really was. He had a beard now, but not a well groomed one. It looked messy and so did his hair. And he had lost weight. A lot.  
"Lets go inside," he suggested gently, "for a talk. I have to tell you so much."  
"Oh yes, you have to," Tarja commented dryly but followed him inside. If Tuomas had started driving immediately, he would be there in an hour. Enough time for her not to die but find out why he had turned into a killer.  
Janne led her into the small living room and asked her to sit down on an old armchair.  
"Okay, start." Tarja said and crossed her legs. And Janne sat down at the couch, looking at her.  
"You destroyed me."  
"I did what?" Tarja laughed coldly. "You left me. Remember?"  
"If course. But I came back."  
"You didn't." Tarja stared at him. "You didn't even call me again."  
"I did come back, Tari," Janne said. "Only two days after I left you. The bad conscience killed me and I missed you so bad. I had started to imagine you and me with a baby ... so I returned. I was too chicken to ring the doorbell, I had bought flowers and chocolate. But I didn't dare to ring, I knew you'd be mad at me. So I waited, circled the house a few times. And then you came out of the house, hand in hand with him. That police man. That was when I realised how absolutely stupid I've been. For how long have you been cheating on me with him??"  
"I haven't -" Tarja started but Janne didn't let her finish.  
"You bitch," he hissed. "You looked so happy and I finally understood that you didn't even want me. You were happy that I broke up, probably the baby wasn't even mine."  
"She is, you asshole, she is your daughter!" Tarja said loudly and winced when Janne jumped up.  
"I am sick of your lies!" he spat. "You know what happened afterwards?? I'll tell you. I stalked you. I wanted to know more about you and him. You seemed like a perfect couple, so happy with your lives and each other. I lost my job, Tarja. My boss fired me because I became too obsessed. I didn't sleep anymore, spent my free time with stalking you. I went back to Kitee but they didn't need a banker there. And getting a job back in Helsinki was impossible, since my ex boss had contacts to every single bank there. Then the drugs and the alcohol started."  
I knew it! Tarja thought panicking.  
Janne showed her a little pin on his jacket.  
"See that thing? Four months clean now but in those four months I've found a new hobby." Janne grinned and Tarja's heart almost stopped. "Those women only served to scare you, Tarja. To scare you and to warn you. Thank you so much for coming. Here it began, here it will end."


	8. Chapter 8

Warning: contains violence ... and other stuff. Don't read if you don't want to

Xx

"Janne," she said gently. She needed to win time. "I know you won't believe me, but Tuomas and I weren't together back then. We only came together recently."  
"You are right, I don't believe you," Janne said and Tarja sighed.  
"If you had only tried to talk to me again, I would have taken you back without a second thought -"  
Janne jumped up again, making Tarja shut up. "Stop lying!" he screamed.  
"I am not lying!" Tarja screamed back. "You left me and he was manly enough to help me out with the pregnancy, even though he whether was the father nor my boyfriend!"  
"You can't tell me you aren't a couple," Janne hissed and Tarja laughed coldly.  
"I'm not. We are together. But Noora was already born back then." Why did she have to explain that to him? Why didn't he know anyway? He stalked them after all. Right?  
Tarja was confused as Janne slowly sat down. "Noora."  
"Yes," Tarja almost spat. "Your daughter. She was born on -"  
"I don't want to hear anything about her," Janne said but Tarja ignored him completely.  
"She was born on June second," she continued loudly, "and I named her Noora Sisko Turunen. I had depressions after her birth but Tuomas was there for me, he helped me with myself and the baby, he helped me as my mother died, he helped me as -"  
"Shut up!" Janne yelled, fastened forward and slapped her hard across the face.  
Tarja stared at him in shock. She had never believed he would do something like that. But she had also believed that he couldn't kill a fly.  
"You deserved that," he breathed.  
Tarja couldn't answer. She was shocked. It was the first time he had ever hurt her physically.  
Janne used her shock state and lifted her from the chair. Even though he was wispy, he was quite strong.  
"What are you doing?" Tarja asked weakly. She asked herself how much time had went by since she had gone here, but she knew that the answer would disappoint her. Fifteen minutes, tops. Tarja was sure he would kill her.  
"Finishing it," Janne said through gritted teeth and Tarja's suspicion was confirmed. He carried her to the little bedroom and let her fall down on the bed. A cloud of dust rise as her body hit the mattress.  
"You could have cleaned," Tarja tried.  
"I could have had a nice life too," the man answered and tied her wrists and ankles to the bed poles. "I could have started a new life without you. But I didn't want to." With a grin he opened a bag that was standing on the floor and pulled out a pair of scissors.  
"No!" Tarja screamed and tried to free herself. "Stop! Janne, please stop!"  
The man simply ignored her screams and moves and started cutting her shirt open.  
"Oh damn," he moaned as he freed her body. "I couldn't remember how fine you looked. It's almost a waste."  
Tarja didn't want to ask what he meant with waste. Deep inside she knew. How much longer - forty minutes? She wondered if he would let her live for that long. Maybe he planned to have sex with her first - hopefully not afterwards, he couldn't be that perverted - and Tuomas would save her before he could kill her. Hopefully.

Tuomas drove like crazy. He had taken the police car and activated the siren. Marco had offered to drive but Tuomas had been scared that he wouldn't drive fast enough, now Marco was sitting next to him, shouting to drive slower.  
"Not a chance!" Tuomas yelled. "Call her again!"  
Marco sighed and pressed the button call Tarja. No answer, just like the last ten times they had tried to call her.  
"If she dies, I'll kill that bastard," Tuomas growled. Marco didn't reply. He knew that Tuomas wouldn't do that, he would probably beat the shit out of him, almost kill him. But then he would back away, crying. And he would be depressed for the rest of his life. Would he even be able to look after Noora? What if not?  
"Go faster," Marco said.

"Beautiful Tari," Janne whispered as he roamed his hands over exposed body. "I missed this so much. I missed you so much."  
"Let's get away," Tarja whispered. "Let's run away, let's elope ..."  
"I'm not stupid, Love," Janne said and brushed his fingers over her nipples. "No, I'll end it here. To be free. I'll kill you and then I'll kill myself. But before that, I'll show you what you've been missing."  
"Janne," Tarja moaned. "Don't kill anyone ... not me, not myself. You've killed enough women -"  
"I didn't kill them myself," Janne said and hovered over her. "I asked a contract killer. To scare you."  
"You didn't kill anyone!" Tarja was relieved. "So don't kill me either ... please, Janne ... you could get so happy now ..."  
"No, I couldn't. Even though I didn't kill those women myself, I have them on my conscience. I let them get murdered just because I wanted to scare you."  
"You succeeded. You scared me to death. But Janne, you're not a killer. You're not a raper ..."  
"How do you know? I've spent five years on the streets now. Maybe I am a raper, maybe I am a killer?"  
"You are not. I know you. Please ..."  
"I've been raping those kids for years," he went on and Tarja moaned. "I never felt good while doing it, so I can't wait to kill myself. Besides that, the virus would have killed me sooner or later anyway."  
"Virus?" Tarja asked and then her eyes widened. "Fuck!! Please Janne, please!" she screamed loudly. "Don't! Please let me go! I swear I won't tell anyone, please let me go!!"  
"I don't care if you would tell your beloved or not. You'll die anyway, Tarja, no matter if I'll kill you now or if the illness will in a few years.  
And then he entered her fiercely, ignoring her screams and cries.

They reached Kitee way earlier than usual. Tuomas literally broke into their house, making Teuvo jump up from his TV programme. "Where is Tarja!" Tuomas shouted.  
"She met a friend of her, Luziia or something -"  
"Bullshit!" Tuomas shouted and ran into Tarja's room. If he could at least find her phone ...  
Marco stayed downstairs to explain everything to Tarja's father, while Tuomas went through his girlfriend's bags to find her phone. He did, but it was useless. She had called around fifty different telephone numbers that day, not a single text message had been sent. Tuomas turned around to go back to the door - as he saw the laptop.  
She had written a message into a word document.  
He needed some seconds to realise what the words meant, then he ran down. "I know where she is!" he breathed. "Teuvo where's the island on the lake?"

"I'm sorry for hurting you," Janne whispered as he lay down next to her. He started caressing her cheek. "My beauty ... you said we could elope? Okay. Let's do that. You as my slave forever ..."  
Tarja said nothing.  
"I promise you. I won't kill whether you nor myself."  
Tarja said nothing.  
"Oh, Tari, don't be mad at me. I love you so much, I just couldn't forget you. Tarja, please ..."  
But Tarja didn't answer. She just stared at the ceiling, not able to believe what had happened.  
"I guess that's a yes," Janne talked to himself. "Come, I'll wrap you into a blanket. You must feel so cold."  
Tarja stared at him. "Kill me," she said.  
"What? I can't!" Janne said.  
"Why? Why all of a sudden?" The adrenaline shot through her veins. "Kill me. I know you won't dare to."  
"No, I can't," Janne repeated. "I love you too much."  
"A few minutes ago you told me your great plan. You wanted to kill me and then kill yourself. Now do it - if you dare to."  
"I don't want to!" Janne cupped her cheeks. "Because I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you."  
"But I'd rather die than doing that," Tarja said calmly. Her insides were squirming but her outsides didn't betray her. God bless the adrenaline. "I'm still tied, Janne. Kill me now. Slowly, please, I want to feel everything."  
"Don't worry, I've planned everything." A smile spread across his face. "I won't make it fast, you shall feel what I've felt for the last years." He pulled out another rope. "It won't be bloody either. You know that I can't see blood."  
"Oh, the irony!" Tarja smiled. "Do it."  
How much time was left? Maybe Tuomas would arrive soon after she had died. Or maybe ... maybe he wouldn't arrive at all. Maybe he had just started driving.  
Tarja closed her eyes as he placed the rope around her throat.

It was calm on the island. Tuomas thought the worst as he got off the boat and approached the house. Either he had killed her already or he had brought her somewhere else. But they had been here, Teuvo's car still stood by the shore. He entered quietly anyway, followed by Marco. The police officer had pulled his gun, ready to shoot if they saw him.  
Quietly Tuomas went around the house, until he reached the last room. As he looked inside, his stomach turned. He waved Marco closer and pointed at the door. Marco peeked inside as well and then pointed at the chairs next to the table. Tuomas grabbed one of them and Marco positioned himself next to the door. He didn't wait or count to three, he acted within milliseconds. He kicked the door open, Tuomas shot inside and the the chair crash down on the man.  
Janne rolled off of Tarja and while Marco grabbed him, Tuomas removed the ropes from his beloved.  
She opened her eyes and smiled. The detective's heart wanted to dance. She was alive, she was alive.  
"Tuomas ..." She whispered and Tuomas pulled her into his arms, crying.  
"Don't. Don't talk. He almost succeeded to strangle you. Oh my god ..."  
Tarja hugged him back. "He ..."  
"Let's talk later. We need to get you into the hospital, you're bruised all over your body. Oh, my love." Tuomas hugged her again. "Where are your clothes?"  
"He destroyed them ..." Tarja couldn't care less. She was in Tuomas' arms. She couldn't be happier and she knew she would never let go of him.

Eventually she had to. Tuomas put his jacket over her before he wrapped her in the dusty blanket. Then he carried her outside, where Marco had put handcuffs on Janne. The man sat between him and Teuvo, both holding him tightly so he couldn't escape. His face was fixed on Tarja, who hid her face in Tuomas' shirt. She never wanted to see him again.  
Tuomas stared at the man with pure hate in his eyes. He was close to pushing him from the boat and let him drown, but he knew he couldn't do that. Marco had to question him before that.

Tarja had fallen asleep in his arms. She was so exhausted.  
Tuomas did everything to protect her and he would never stop. He brought her to the hospital in Teuvo's car while Marco and Tarja's father dropped Janne at the Kiteen police station. Marco came to the hospital after them, in case the doctors wouldn't believe Tuomas. He told them the truth in a short story - she had been assaulted, almost killed and probably also raped and he had found her - and then they took her away to have a look at her. Tuomas' heart ached as they put her on a carrier but he knew he'd see her again soon.  
"Let's go back to the police station," Marco said and put his hand on the detective's shoulder, but Tuomas shook his head.  
"I'd like to wait until she's awake," he said softly. "I need to know that she's okay."  
Marco nodded and smiled. "We were a good team."  
For a moment, the rivalry was forgotten and Tuomas smiled back. "Thanks for your help, Marco."

Tarja woke up an hour later. They had pumped her with painkillers, she couldn't feel anything. She was widely awake and looked around the hospital room. Tuomas! Where was he?  
She called a nurse who promised her to send a doctor. "And Tuomas!" Tarja called after her and really, a few minutes after that a doctor entered, followed by Tuomas.  
"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked but Tarja couldn't take her eyes from Tuomas. He looked so done.  
"I'm fine. Thanks to Tuomas."  
"Oh yes, he showed much courage. Is he your boyfriend?"  
"Yes, you can leave us alone," Tarja said but the doctor shook his head. "I need to have a look at you."  
"But -" Tarja started to protest. She needed to talk to Tuomas alone! But the doctor didn't seem to leave them alone, instead he had a look at her eyes, ears, bones and reflexions. He asked her several stuff like today's date, where they were and what her name was, before he decided that Tarja was okay.   
He turned around to leave them alone and Tuomas sat down next to her. He kissed her lips gently - and suddenly Tarja realised that she needed to tell a doctor anyway. Sooner or later she had to, she couldn't risk her boyfriend's or daughter's health.  
"Wait!" she called and the doctor froze on his spot. She took her boyfriend's hand and looked into his eyes. Then she took a deep breath.  
"Janne told me ... He is HIV positive."


End file.
